Thursday, March 20, 2003

Yay for war! Whoohoo, it's one of my most favorite things in the world next to pelvic exams!!! Yay!!! Pelvic exams as super fun. NOT!!! (Funny noise and a thumbs down.) I just think it's really sad that it had to come to this.
Anyway, so most girls get PMS or cramps before their periods. I get horny. For the past three days leading up to the arrival of Captain Bloodsnatch (sorry I'm being crude but that's my favorite term for being on the rag) all I can think about is sex. Specifically, a certain cartoonist naked and panting in my arms. Dear God! What have I done!!! Gah!!!!! Oh my, my stomach is about to explode at the meer prospect of the thought. An interesting fact to note is that it is only within the last few days that this cartoonist has even entered into my thoughts and fantasies. He has managed to worm himself into my subconscience merely by the merit of being clever. Gah!!! Also, my atomic horniess doesn't happen every month, thank god. No wait, I think it does. Which is kind of weird. Aren't guys supposed to be grossed out by menstruating women? Much less having sex with them? Please tell me if I'm wrong.
Masturbation just doesn't seem to be enough.
I'm sorry faithful readers if I have disgusted any of you beyond belief but this is what has been on my mind lately and I can't stop thinking about the afformentioned cartoonist who will remain nameless. (I'll give you a clue though: he's a webcomic artist. Ha! That really narrows it down doesn't it? Nahaha)
Today is Thursday and as you all know, it is Trading Spaces day with Tony. Today is going to be fun because we have Coke-a-Cola to drink and I like Coke because it makes my teeth squeak and I burp even though I am trying to stop burping so loudly and profusely and whatnot. Mommy doesn't like it. Neither does my tummy.
Speaking of my tummy, we got a letter from the GI guy about my test and he says there is nothing wrong with my stomach, no ulcer or bacteria to be found. Which is bad news. Maybe I'm just going to have to except that I will always have stomach pain all my life and I can't eat certain foods because of it. It's ok, I can deal. But GODDAMN! My tummy really hurts right now.
On to other topics. Hmmmmmm.
Hmmm is right.
Here is a list of my favorite words. Look them up and impress me when you use them in a sentence:
undulate (that's been my all-time, number 1, favorite word since the 6th grade and ain't nothing gonna change that!)
visceral (a close second)
ardent (a synonym for ardor I know but I like the way it sounds.)
That's pretty much it. I think. I probably be sitting in 5th hour and I'll be all: "Oh no! I forgot ________! (Insert word)" and I will accordingly not be able to sit still and it will bother me for the rest of the day. For someone as old as me, I can be pretty immature sometimes. Alone, inside my head, I have the attention span of a five year old. I cannot sit still if I am preoccupied. Sometimes I get really excited about something, and nothing whatsoever can occupy my mind for the rest of the day. It's weird. I also have a horrible memory, I continually forget what day of the week it is. Sometimes I'm just not sure. I have just come to the conclusion that I am crazy. But maybe you knew that already. I'm starting to calm down now but my stomach doesn't feel any better.
I like the phrase "close proximity." I like the way it sounds and what it means. There is a ceiling in close proximity to my head. But not really because I'm kind of short. I've also come to terms with the fact that I will be a small (not very small) woman when I grow up. It is not hard to be bigger than. I don't mind. I just hope I won't acquire neck problems from always looking up. Nahaha.
I'm wearing sandals and they make me very happy. I sat still and quite for about 40 minutes in algebra today because the vast majority of our class was gone to Madison. I sat and did homework and then read the book we are reading for english. At one point, I couldn't sit still anymore and I got up to tapdance. My teacher said I was a funny girl. Thank you but I'm not Barbara Steisand.

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