Monday, March 31, 2003

titty slap is a funny word.
Today I lost $20 that I had in the back pocket of my pants. I don't know how it slipped out but it's not there anymore. Though I am disappointed, I am not mad. I don't know why. I like money a lot. Money will do lots of things for me in life. Like pay for college. Or perhaps pay for a pair of jeans to cover my hot ass. I have a sweet, sweet ass. I was gonna use that $20 to buy a new CD and a muffin. Muffins are nice especially if they come from Copps and are applesauce flavored. Yum yum.
It was raining today. I do not like rain that much. Especially if its cold rain.
Did you know that the band Ugly Casanova sounds EXACTLY like Modest Mouse? That is so weird it makes my head itch. Maybe its just Modest Mouse under a different name? I think I'm gonna start up my knitting again tonight whilst watching Law and Order. I stopped because the yarn kept coming out of skein all twisted and it frustrated me but now I wanna try again and that makes me happy.
On today's episode of Trading Spaces, there were minimal capentry projects for Ty and he had nothing today. So he was all trying to find stuff to do and it was funny. You had to be there.
Ty Pennington has a sweet, sweet ass.
You betcha.

Saturday, March 29, 2003


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

look at me! Not schizoid or paranoid! Something completely weird! I slept all day today because that stupid virus that infected me at NATE'S house made me not be able to sleep so it all kind of built up all week and there I was on saturday afternoon, corking off. Oh look, it's my kitty. She'll attack you one day for making me sick Nate. If she had any claws. I just realized that the chair I'm sitting in moves on it's own. Kinda scary. My mother got all domestic today and made apple crisp. It was DELICIOUS! I highly recommend it. Except you can't have any. Nahaha
We got a new washer and dryer because the old ones kept running backwards. They are fun to watch because I can see them working. Lalalalala

Friday, March 28, 2003

i was reading the Nothing Nice to Say forum and found this as the "signature" for someone's post:

one time i asked Jesus how much he loved me, he said "this much" stretched his arms out wide, fell back and died

I laughed my ASS off. HAHAHAHAHA!
now i am listening to dar williams. just so you know.
What to say about today? The word was yesterday that we were supposed to get like ten inches of snow for today. But it didn't happen. Ten inches would've meant a SNOW DAY! (and a very well endowed man...shit...why do i always have to think these thoughts? fuck you hormones!) So I kept waking up, waiting for the phone to ring at 5AM. (Mommy is a teacher and teachers get advanced warning about these things. Kinda handy.) The phone didn't ring. :(
Oh sadness.
Listening to the Red House Painters. Oh so melancholy. Lalalala.....
I need a new jacket for spring. I was glad we didn't have to play in band today.
That makes me very happy. Because I do not like band.

Thursday, March 27, 2003

So webcomic boy has fallen into his requisite depression that happens every now and then. I could make it all better.
*evil laugh*
I hope it snows and snows and snows at around 2AM tonight. Cuz you know what that means.....
Hey party people: if you wanna see a new issue of JNSQ come out in the near future, send some stuff my way. Do your own page layout (decorate it, etc) so I don't have to. It would please me greatly.
Hop on over to the new blog Sarah P. and I are doing called The Tampon Project. It promises to be interesting and stimulating reading.
I've gotten even sicker if that's possible. But I'm in a really good mood despite.
Gus says the french eat babies. I wonder if thats true.
See ya later
Peace out

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Okay. My tag board was the devil. So much for that endeavor. My head is still all stuffed up though. Ugh.
I think I broke my blog. I tried to put up a tag board like all the cool kids are doing but it didn't work I don't think. Anyway. My head is stuffed up and my ears are plugged. My nose is a well of snot. I went to Nate's house on friday night and then I was sick on saturday.
Nate is your house harboring some kind of virus? I hope it isn't because that would suck majorly.
State is in two more weeks. I am excited. I am tingling with excitement.
I couldn't sleep last night. I kept waking up. For some reason, whenever I have bouts of sleeplessness, I get really pissed at my body. I say, "Hey you body! Let me sleep!" But my body just sneers at me and says, "Nahaha I'm gonna make you toss and turn because it's really fun. Lalalalala!" So I try to read about Ernest Shakelton or Ty Pennington but the sleepy by doesn't come any faster. So I piddle a few times and turn on the cieling fan. The cool air blows between my toes which are peeking out from under my blanket. My eyelids try to be heavy but my body wants me to suffer. I don't like this much.
That's all for now. My ears are still plugged.

Monday, March 24, 2003

Being sick really sucks. Especially if it lasted all weekend. I'm not emo, I swear to god.

Friday, March 21, 2003

Who are you?

I am not emo. Goddamnit.
I've calmed down quite a bit today. But it's only 8:08 AM. The day is just beginning. Gah! Webcomic boy stay out of my thoughts - I need to function like a normal person today.

Thursday, March 20, 2003

Yay for war! Whoohoo, it's one of my most favorite things in the world next to pelvic exams!!! Yay!!! Pelvic exams as super fun. NOT!!! (Funny noise and a thumbs down.) I just think it's really sad that it had to come to this.
Anyway, so most girls get PMS or cramps before their periods. I get horny. For the past three days leading up to the arrival of Captain Bloodsnatch (sorry I'm being crude but that's my favorite term for being on the rag) all I can think about is sex. Specifically, a certain cartoonist naked and panting in my arms. Dear God! What have I done!!! Gah!!!!! Oh my, my stomach is about to explode at the meer prospect of the thought. An interesting fact to note is that it is only within the last few days that this cartoonist has even entered into my thoughts and fantasies. He has managed to worm himself into my subconscience merely by the merit of being clever. Gah!!! Also, my atomic horniess doesn't happen every month, thank god. No wait, I think it does. Which is kind of weird. Aren't guys supposed to be grossed out by menstruating women? Much less having sex with them? Please tell me if I'm wrong.
Masturbation just doesn't seem to be enough.
I'm sorry faithful readers if I have disgusted any of you beyond belief but this is what has been on my mind lately and I can't stop thinking about the afformentioned cartoonist who will remain nameless. (I'll give you a clue though: he's a webcomic artist. Ha! That really narrows it down doesn't it? Nahaha)
Today is Thursday and as you all know, it is Trading Spaces day with Tony. Today is going to be fun because we have Coke-a-Cola to drink and I like Coke because it makes my teeth squeak and I burp even though I am trying to stop burping so loudly and profusely and whatnot. Mommy doesn't like it. Neither does my tummy.
Speaking of my tummy, we got a letter from the GI guy about my test and he says there is nothing wrong with my stomach, no ulcer or bacteria to be found. Which is bad news. Maybe I'm just going to have to except that I will always have stomach pain all my life and I can't eat certain foods because of it. It's ok, I can deal. But GODDAMN! My tummy really hurts right now.
On to other topics. Hmmmmmm.
Hmmm is right.
Here is a list of my favorite words. Look them up and impress me when you use them in a sentence:
undulate (that's been my all-time, number 1, favorite word since the 6th grade and ain't nothing gonna change that!)
visceral (a close second)
ardent (a synonym for ardor I know but I like the way it sounds.)
That's pretty much it. I think. I probably be sitting in 5th hour and I'll be all: "Oh no! I forgot ________! (Insert word)" and I will accordingly not be able to sit still and it will bother me for the rest of the day. For someone as old as me, I can be pretty immature sometimes. Alone, inside my head, I have the attention span of a five year old. I cannot sit still if I am preoccupied. Sometimes I get really excited about something, and nothing whatsoever can occupy my mind for the rest of the day. It's weird. I also have a horrible memory, I continually forget what day of the week it is. Sometimes I'm just not sure. I have just come to the conclusion that I am crazy. But maybe you knew that already. I'm starting to calm down now but my stomach doesn't feel any better.
I like the phrase "close proximity." I like the way it sounds and what it means. There is a ceiling in close proximity to my head. But not really because I'm kind of short. I've also come to terms with the fact that I will be a small (not very small) woman when I grow up. It is not hard to be bigger than. I don't mind. I just hope I won't acquire neck problems from always looking up. Nahaha.
I'm wearing sandals and they make me very happy. I sat still and quite for about 40 minutes in algebra today because the vast majority of our class was gone to Madison. I sat and did homework and then read the book we are reading for english. At one point, I couldn't sit still anymore and I got up to tapdance. My teacher said I was a funny girl. Thank you but I'm not Barbara Steisand.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

So the boy's bball team is going to state and there is a sendoff going on right now and I don't give a shit. That's why I'm not there. Instead, my first hour teacher desposited me and several others in the computer lab while the rest of my class went to the sendoff. I think sendoffs are the devil because they are not evenly distributed among the various extra ciriculars. Academic decathalon and forensic and whatnot do not get a sendoff but those activities (mainly forensics) consistently sends it's participants to state year and year. This will be my third go around at state. Alas, the glory and joy I revel in shall be shortlived as not even the administration gives a rat's ass.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003


What Planet Are You From?

this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim

Nahaha! I really have to pee. Maybe I should. I like mustard. I don't have much to say about today.

Monday, March 17, 2003

Today I wore a shirt that I bought with my own money. It says: "For good luck rub my tummy." with a picture of Buddha below. Apparently, this is a provacative statement because I am not allowed to wear it to school anymore. So says lord and master Daddy. I understand that he feels he needs to protect me, but I resent that apparently he thinks I'm not responsible and can't use good judgment. Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion. People (specifically boys) aren't going to read my shirt much less carry out what it says to do on it. It is my personal opinion that boys don't really look at me all that much. My father once told me that I didn't have any privacy and that I can't make decisions about things such as religion on my own. Granted, on two different occasions. I love my father and all that he does for me, but I do not love the way he treats me. I feel like I'm 12. I can't wear what I want. I can't say or do certain things. Things that my brother says to our father I cannot say to our father. I feel like I haven't earned his respect or trust. I work very hard and it doesn't really feel like he cares. Last week I got two academic awards. Yes, he said good job and whatnot, but I would like him (and my mom too) to make a bigger deal out of these things I do. I work very hard and I've come a long way. But sometimes it feels like it's all in vain. I just want someone to gush. Maybe I'm selfish. I don't know. What I do know is that I should be allowed to wear my Buddha shirt whenever and whereever I want. There are a lot worse shirts I could wear, a lot more provactive clothing I could wear. But I don't. I'm true to myself. I don't wear that stuff because I'm not comfortable in it. Apparently, my father doesn't really pay attention that much to what girls today are wearing. Not that I expect him to, but not all girls dress as dowdy as me. I'm relatively conservative in the fashion department. I know nothing about clothes and I prefer to subsit on jeans and tshirts. I like shopping at Savers, not because it's cool but because there is nowhere else to buy decent, comfortable clothing.
Thank you and good night.

Saturday, March 15, 2003

John Wallace is a legend. He is my punk buddy that I've talked to on and off since I was 15. But we haven't talked in a long time. But I was checking one of my old email adresses and there was litle note from him! Yay! So I immediatley answered it and told him to start emailing me at my real email adress. Nahahaha!
I am listening to Andrew W.K. Hair metal is so much fun.
Last night a set of blinds fell on my face at Sarah E.'s house and my lip split open and started to bleed profusely. With that split lip, the damn of my pain broke open and I couldn't stop crying. I love you Rachel Rindo - for holding me and getting me a tissue and hugging me and not letting me drive home till I calmed down. You are a true friend.
So who actually reads this blog from day to day? I know crazy Meghan W. does and then she's all "Oh how did your test go?" in english and I'm all "how did you know?" I'm crazy.
I'm going to the mall today to spend my paycheck and eat chicken tariaki. (I can't spell I'm sorry!) I have a new appreciation for food.
I should go harass my brother. I still have 45 minutes to kill before I can call my partner in crime, the lovely miss R. Rindo.
God I love her.
God I love you all.

Friday, March 14, 2003

I feel really good today. I have a neat bracelet on my wrist with my name and DOB on it. IT is the neatest thing. I still have it on because it is totally cool. I have three little punctures on my hands and arm from where they tried to start an IV but couldn't. I got my IV started and then I was wheeled into the procedure room and given a spray at the back of the mouth that tasted like butt. But it numbed up my gag reflex. Then the doctor came in and gave me demoral to make me relax. Heheh. The twilight zone is a wonderful place. All I remember is biting down on something. Then they had to wait for my throat to un-numb and then I went home. But I couldn't put on my shoes myself because I might fall off the bed. Then I got a vanilla milkshake from Burger King and I drank and it tasted good. I had Erbert and Gerberts and it tasted good.
There Meghan, are you happy?

"The first thing you loose on a diet is brain mass." - Margaret Cho

Today was a good day.

Thursday, March 13, 2003

I feel better today. Better than yesterday, tuseday, and monday. Even though I am so hungry. Yes today is the big day. Gastroscopy. I think for lunch I might have a nice refreshing rinse of the mouth with water. Yum yum.
So no matter how much of a pill I am in class my teachers love me. Today is lab day in Writing With Style and Mr. Poss just came by to tell me that I'm getting the E2 (squared) award. This is the second time I've gotten it. Last year was from the beloved Herr Fleming. The E2 award is for outstanding academic excellence and effort. Yay me. Also, Mr. Poss said he would give me a recommondation when the time came. Yipeee! He says he doesn't do that for just anyone. Lalalalal yay me.
My hands are all shakey because I haven't had anything to eat since around 6 PM last night. I am so hungry I could eat a rotissery chicken. Yum. Or a PB&J sub from Erbert and Gerbert's. Double yum. Or a fresh bagle from Big Apple bagles. Triple yum. I should stop doing this. It's making me delirious. At lunch I will finish my oceanography homework. That way I won't have to do it tonight when I am coming down from a high dose of narcotics. When do I get to eat again? I could use a vanilla milkshake from Burger King. I don't care if I vomit. I just want foooooood. Sweeet yummy warm tasty food. Yogurt, string cheese, Otis Spunkmeyer (hehe spunk) cookies. Chicken strips. I LOVE FOOD. Waffles. Pancakes. Omletes. Poptarts. Yum. Cereal. Anything. Except dog poo. I'm not fond of that.
I just have German, lunch, and a little bit of band to go before I will have my "procedure" and find out what's wrong with me and be able to eat again.
I feel good today. In a week that has been otherwise bleak, dreary, and grief stricken, this mood feels like the first ray of spring time sunshine. My thoughts stray occasionally to her. But I pull them back as if they were dogs on leshes and I their tired master, wants to go home. I'm going to write a letter to her parents. That will help me heal as it may help them. On friday, I will give my big brother a hug and I will go out with my friends and remember that she is safe in heaven where no pain can touch her. I will take caution on icy roads and I will be ever mindful. I will keep her in my thoughts but as the days go by, she will become a shadow and to say her name will not hurt so much.
I will stop being so poetic.

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Looking at my post hurts. I was parked next to a Dodge Intrepid in the grocery store parking lot. That was Sarah's car. That was the car that Sarah died in. It's not fair.
I feel better today. Yesterday I cried like I didn't know I could cry. Horrible wailing sobs emanating from somewhere deep within myself.
It's gets better little by little.
I should be at confirmation right now but I have too much homework that I don't feel like doing. I have a test too study for that I don't wanna take. I just want to lay in bed. I don't care about anything.
I'm having a gastroscopy tomorrow. That's a test where I will be drugged up real good and then a tube with a camera on it will be shoved down my throat to look at my tummy. I'm not supposed to remember anything. This frightens me a bit. Not being able to remember. Maybe I want to remember something being shoved down my throat.
I should go do homework now. Wheather I like it or not.
God help me.

Monday, March 10, 2003

Sarah Nelson is dead and I'm alive and it's not fair. I have known this girl since 6th grade. We weren't really close or anything. But we would always talk in the classes we had together. We made the switch from orchestra to band together. We both got braces on and off at the same the same time. We reveled in this. She was such a good person. She always had a smile. IT'S NOT FAIR. WHY am I still alive? We were the same the age. How come I'm walking around and she's not? It's not fair. Why is such a wonderful person dead? Why? How come I get to live?
God is bullshit. He does not have a plan. She had so much ahead of her.
I haven't had to grieve for anyone since I was ten when my grandma died. I don't want to do it again.
It's not fair.

Friday, March 07, 2003

I don't feel like working on my syntax-anal thingie. I am too excited to go to New London. Kyle (there's enough Kyle to go around) will not be there so it will not be as much fun. Nor will he be going to state so I can't make him go to A Room of One's Own (the totally cool feminist bookstore). It just won't be the same.
Anyway, I think this syntax stuff is really lame. I don't like assignments that aren't the bomb diggity. They make me sad and depressed.
Tony and I had an awesome time watching Trading Spaces. We also watched Changing Rooms (the BBC counterpart) and it happened to be the episode where both sets of neighbors hate their rooms. One lady hated it because it was not exactly as how she wanted it to be. That's not the point of the show. She also hated it because it had brown in it and it was a theme. It wasn't even a bad brown. God. The other room I can understand. It was way too modern for the people it was made for. But oh well.
I worked last night and there were way too many people on and not enough stuff to do but that's okay. I had a lovely, tasty sammich with ham, whole wheat bread, chedar cheese and LOTS OF MUSTARD! Of course!
I found out this morning that there will be 900 competitors at the New London meet. 900. If I place, it will be an act of God.
Seriously, even though I'm agnostic.
An act of God.
I'll get you the lowdown on Sunday.

Thursday, March 06, 2003

DUDE! 2 posts in one day! This is unreal. I'm currently seeing how fast and how violently I can type. I'm doing pretty well but not as well as my english can type: she is the most violent and the most fast. Sometimes I hear her type during classtime and it is so scary. Ok, now my violence and fast level has sort of petered off. The palms of my hands are soooooo dry. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
You know what? I'm not really all that tired anymore.
Wait....oh yeah...I still am. I'm really hungry. I want some crackers. I wanna nap too. I wish I could fast forword through German and lunch and band and get to Oceanography where I would take the test and then be at the end of the day. Then I could go find Tony and we could run like mad-people (not madmen) to my car which I conviently parked near the place where Tony and I meet and then we would fly home and watch Trading Spaces and giggle and then we would watch Changing Rooms and giggle some more. Then I would get ready for work and I would take Tony to his car and then I would go to work. I would work and I wouldn't be sitting around all jittery and excited for NEW LONDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would work and work and work and I wouldn't mount slides because that would be disastrous because I would royally fuck up. I would wait on people but then I might get mad at customers for being stupid and that's no good. After work I would go to the grocery store and buy Poptarts and Kettle Korn and saline solution. I would go home and go to the basement to get my little black rolling suitcase and the boardgame SCRABBLE and then I would go upstairs to my room and pack up all my goodies being sure to remember my knitting and whatnot. Then I would brush my teeth and put in my retainer and take out my contacts but not in that order. I would put on my PJs and hop into bed and read Portrait In Sepia by Isabell Allende for a while untill my eyelids started to droop and then I would turn out the light and go sleepy-by.
But since it's only fourth hour and I can't time travel (unlike Donny Darko) I have to sit through the rest of my classes and the suffer through public education.
Thank you and have a nice day.
It's after 8AM. I'm in school and soooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired. I woke up at 4AM this morning for no paticular reason other than my body likes to be mean to me. Dude I'm really tired. And I can't stop saying dude.
I work tonight. Making money is always nice. Today is Trading Spaces day with Tony. Thursdays are always a good day. Tony and I watch Trading Spaces and make fun of it and laugh and laugh and laugh. God I am so tired. I need a nap.
I had a dream last night that I was looking for a house to rent. I found a really cool one and I went to look at it. When I came back out, I couldn't find my car keys. I know I'd locked my car and put my keys in my pocket, but they weren't there and the car was unlocked and running. The minute I sat down in the driver's seat, the car started to go without me doing anything. It almost drove into a house and it was so horrible and I was so scared but I finally got the car under controll and then I woke up.
Tomorrow is the day the Forensics team leaves for New London. Away meets are so much fun. I am so tired. I should be working on my syntax analysis assignment but I'm too tired and I can't figure out where my main clause verbs are. I hate syntax. Bah!
I need caffine. Who wants to give me a can of Coke? I'd really appreciate it. My mouth is so dry. I cannot function. I wish I was at home asleep.
You know what just made me really happy? I just remembered that today, AP Gov isn't doing regular AP Gov stuff. Instead we will be researching special interest groups. What a nice way to end the week since I don't have to go to GOV tomorrow. My breath is stinky and Ben T. hates me. Do I care? No. He laughed at me for getting a lower score than him on the ACT. I really should proofread this blog. I notice a lot of mistakes. Bye bye. By the way everyone should read Gluemeat because it is very funny and makes me laugh and it will make you laugh too. I love you all and thank you for listening to my delirious ramblings. By the way, don't go see the Wiz at MHS. It sucks.

Sunday, March 02, 2003

Goddamit! My ears are vibrating because my dad HAS to have the sound on the TV waaaaaay up and he's watching Gettsyburg and the entire movie is a battle and the house is vibrating. I'm this close to killing him in his sleep. Isn't necessary to use our sound system to its full capacity? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
So I went with my mom to the kick ass knitting shop in the Third Ward. (You should all totally start knitting. It's so much fun.) We got some kick ass yarn and now I'm kniting a kick ass scarf. I haven't knitted anything in a long time. It brings back memories of when my mom and grandma tried to teach me to knit when I was eight. Being the wacky (dude, JTHM hates that word) eight year old I was, I couldn't sit still. Plus they were trying to teach me to knit right handed and I'm left. Luckily I finally learned. So now my mom and I sit in the den with our needles clacking and we happily knit row after row. So much fun!
My head hurts. I don't know why.
Maybe I should go read webcomics I've already read a million times before. That sounds like fun. Totally cool.