Thursday, April 05, 2007

I Wish I Had A Fat, Lazy Hamster

I love my hamster Pablo dearly.
But. BUT.
I found out he is the devil. Case in point:

He chewed through his cage. And escaped. The 12 hours he was on the loose were the scariest of my life. I looked high and low for him but alas he was no where to be found. Now I know that when an escaped hamster doesn't want to be found, he will not be found. Remembering that Pablo is a creature of the night (Ha! A sure sign of the devil!) I waited untill that evening to continue my search. I had grand plans of setting a trap and catching him that way but sometimes, beer and drunkenness get in the way.
I laid myself down to sleep that night and was awoken at a rude hour by the sound of scratching. I knew it had to be Pablo. I turned on the light and there he was! I cornered him by the door and attempted to pick him up. He hissed at me and tried to bite my hand off with his mutant teeth. HE HISSED AT ME. Up untill that point, I thought hamsters were silent creatures. Did I mention he hissed at me? Pablo wriggled out of my grasp and ran away into the depths of my room. Note to self: the next time your hamster is on the loose, it would help to have a clean room. Pablo thought he could escape by disappearing into my closet. What he didn't count on was the power of hunger. He was lured out eventually with food and returned safely to his cage.
But! The story is not over!
Sunday I found myself asleep over my Medical Terminology textbook as usual. Waking up around 1AM (apparently the witching hour for hamsters) I decided it would be a good idea to take out my contacts. Opening the door of my bedroom, I discovered a horrible sight: Pablo had chewed through the duct tape I'd put over the hole as a temporary fix and was about to escape again. Thank goodness for boring Med Term books.

The rest of the story is too harrowing to recount. I really wish I had a car. I need to go to Walmart to return the flimsy replacement cage I bought and buy a fish tank. BECAUSE HAMSTERS CAN'T CHEW THROUGH GLASS. At least, I hope they can't.
Right now Pablo is being punished by having to live in the tiny auxilary cage. He made sure to let me know how he feels about it though, by peeing on the wall.
The battle continues.


YourFavoriteBabyFucker said...

pablo pissed on our wall?!

Sarah said...

if plastic couldn't hold surely tape can!
and we call ourselves the smarter species... bah. this only proves that squirrels will take over the world.

Operation Pink Herring said...

The hissing and peeing on the wall makes Pablo sound an awful lot like my cat. I think hamsters have a manifest destiny to escape their cages... good call on the fish tank!

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