What Has Been Going On

It is finals week here at RIT and that means that I finally get some breathing room to write something substantial on this here blog. So here goes...

My father lost his job.

This could not come at a more inconvient nor worse time. My father had been having problems at work for quite some time but my parents kept the true gravity of the issues he was dealing from my brother and I, so we had no idea about what was actually going on. Basically, my father ran a branch of a bank based in Western Wisconsin. He came to the job with a lot of experience, knowledge and business connections. And smarts. Lots of smarts. His bosses turned out to be narrow minded and couldn't handle the fact that he was smarter than them. (This is how the situation was explained to me). So they looked for an excuse to get rid of my father. My dad's expertise is in coporate finance and loans, and after one loan went bad (which was not his fault) he was told that if he made another mistake he would be fired. So time goes by. A family friend comes to my father for a loan. This was a man my father thought he could trust. A man whose work as a contractor had seen our family through remodels and minor repairs. This man did not hold up his end of the deal and my father was held responsible. So, instead of being fired, my father quit.

This is what hurts my heart: my father is 60 years old. He was 1.5 years away from retirement. Now he has to start over again. My father's plans for his retirement included teaching at the University but that job isn't open to him untill he is 62 and fully retired. While severance pay and benefits are going to last my parents untill August, I hate to see them have to go through this level of stress. They keep telling me that it is going to be ok and everything is going to work out. But I can't stop from worrying anyway. That they have to put into motion their plans for retirement sooner than they expected. It hurts.

I am so angry at the men who did this. My father is a good, honest man and he didn't deserve this. I cannot be so far away from my parents and not know what is going on. This is truly unfair to them, to people that did nothing to have this burden put upon them.

Overheard

As I was walking down the hall on the 3rd floor in Building 7...

Guy on cell phone: "Yeah? Are you getting really big?"

I would not lie to you.

A little Belated

I should've posted this on the actual day but....better late than never

Thoughts Whilst In the Lab

- In the spirit of Erin's recent post (I can't link directly to it for some reason) about the name of her first-born female child, I would also like to share with you the names I hope to name my hypothetical children.
For a boy: Ampersand. Only I would spell it "&"
For a girl: Tilde. I would spell it " ~ ".

-Being here for so long kinda makes me want to barf.

-And that's all for now cuz Katie is giving me a ride home.

Tonight is Wine and Cheese! Yay! The one party that Biomed kids most look forward to!

Um yup. Ever since Erin said that I write about stuff that I tell her in real life, I've been really self conscious about what I write on my blog. Soulmate or not I shake my fist at her! Btw, she has her own blogaliciousness now. Way to go. Maybe she will stalk herself?

In other news, apparently I recieved a notice stating that I am being considered for jury duty. Jury duty in Eau Claire, WI. I have to fill out and send back in a questionnaire and send it in within 10 days OMG!!!!!! I can't wait to have fun with this. I obviously can't serve (um? higher education in NY state? makes commuting difficult) but this is exciting! I wonder what the case is about? Is it juicey? It better be!

Reporting from the Other Side

I have healed myself through the powers of sleep, a cool air humidifier, powerful decongestant and Grey's Anatomy. Take that silly head cold!

You will be happy to know that this young gentleman of whom I spoke of in my last post has since been fired from his position in the Biomed Lab.


YES

Where the urge to kill comes from

This is where the urge to kill comes from: it comes from sitting in the biomed lab, doing unpaid work, waiting for the person who was supposed to show up at 6 to come in. This is the second week in a row that he hasn't shown. This kid is AWESOME. Last week when this happened, I said, "Hey dude what was up with not showing up for your shift?" and the kid said, "I forgot I worked on Tuesdays." But you showed up the week before? It's tough to do your job and be responsible, I know. But lots of people manage to do it everyday and somehow we are all still alive. It's crazy, isn't it? It's things like this that makes my blood surge with the burning of a thousand suns, my eyeballs bulge out of their sockets and my biceps grow to the size of The Man Who's Arm Exploded arms and I feel like I can rip someone's head off their neck-hole without breaking a sweat. It isn't so much anger, this feeling, I believe it is the urge to murder another human being.

And another thing! Next quarter, I want to take classes that don't involve writing at all. I am tired of it. No papers or detailed content outlines or elaborate project proposals. Only Wine Tasting and reading stuff for me.

Part 1 of Some Open Letters

Dear Isaiah Washington,

I love your character on Grey's Anatomy. However, I have a slight beef with you. WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT YOUR YAPPER? The more you open your mouth, the deeper and deeper your foot goes into your esophagus. Shut up, would ya?

Kisses!

Mary

(See here)

Some Good Things:

-I can smell the new Harry Potter book coming. Write JK Rowling! Write like the wind!
-New Modest Mouse album. When? I dunno. The happy email I got said, "Soon." Please don't toy with my emotions like that. All I do is love you Modest Mouse.
-Cabling? With the knitting and stuff? Count me in! I am teaching myself, yessireee.

PS I need to see This Sporting Life with Richard Harris. In fact, all ruggers do. Apparently the man does some serious battle on the pitch. I would too if it got me out of the coal mines. Alas, the movie seems to be unavailable everywhere. I'm gonna wish on a star real hard!

I think that should do it.

When I grow up, I'm gonna get me a sturdy litttle dog. Like a Boston Terrier or a pug or bulldog. I'm gonna dress him in rugby jerseys and name him Scrummie. When I grow up.

My Triumphant Return

I was walking back from Crossroads yesterday when I noticed a huge flock of tiny birds that were moving and undulating and circling my apartment building as if they were a school of fish swimming in the ocean. They all alit on the grass by the parking lot but soon found themselves circling the air in waves again. It was mesmerizing to watch.

I feel like I have no free time. I have class and lots of work. The only time I really have to myself is at night but by that time I feel like I'm going to collapse. I gotta do the stuff that gives you the energy. You know, the crack.

This year finds me eagerly anticipating Christmas. I reveled in the putting up of decorations and driving around looking at houses that were all decked out. I'm really excited to give the gifts I've bought for my loved ones. I love thinking up gifts to give people and then giving them and knowing that what I got them was exactly what they wanted.

Short enough entry for you Erin?

Day 30: The Last Hurrah

Can you believe that this is the last day of NaBloPoMo? I can't but here it is. Wow. I did it. I'm so proud of me. While I'll be in a bit of a blog-hibernation, I definately think I will be updating this here blog more often than I used to. I think writing is really theraputic for me, even if no one reads this.

BUT I HAVE YARN PORN


Mmm Koigu. I think I'm in love.

I'm having trouble focusing. This is bad. This is a problem. It is all my father's fault. You see, my Dad had horrible eyesight. He wore Coke bottle bottom glasses essentially and I can always remember him saying when I was little, "I'm going upstairs to take out my eyes." (Daddy code for contact lenses) He was nearsighted with astigmatism. Then, in the early days of laser eye surgery, he had the procedure done. He could see again without glasses or contacts. Sadly, he passed the genes on to his children. I seemed to have gotten the best genes (My mutant teeth? Courtesy of my Dad). I've found lately that I can't tell if something is in focus when I'm looking through the viewfind in my camera. Its the stupid astigmatism giving me problems. Sigh. But! Look at the delicious yarn! Yum!

This is the sock that I've been working on for the boy. It's a pretty cool slip stitch pattern. Tonight I made the heel flap. Tomorrow the heel turning shall commence. I like turning the heels of socks a lot. I think its kind of magical. I go back and forth and back and forth and when I'm done, its this nifty little heel that I made by doing hardly anything special.

Day 29: I see the end

Baby's first Koigu. The picture kind of sucks a lot. I'm gonna try again tomorrow. The sun couldn't decide if it wanted to come out or not. Of course it's my luck that after I finish taking the pictures that the sun begins to shine in all its glory.

I went to the Doc today and just unloaded a lot of what's been bothering me. My meds have stopped working. I try and restrain myself from talking about my struggles with depression on this blog. If you go way back in the archives, I am no-holds barred sharing everything but as the years have progressed, I've had to learn that I have to live with a disease and I've become more private about it. I don't really talk about my troubles with my RIT friends, even the boy doesn't know the whole story, and I like it that way. There are just so many emotions attached to what I've been through that in actuality make it the most difficult to talk about my battles. But back to the Doc. So I unloaded and felt a lot better and for the first time in a long time I feel like things are going to be ok. I'm going to find the right combo of meds to feel good and the world will be sunny again.

Tomorrow is the last day of NaBloPoMo. Wowie. I'm really proud of me that I managed to post the whole month, through finals, wisdom teeth extraction, excrutiating pain. I'm really just awesome.

Day 28: Adventures

Today my mother and I drove to Minneapolis to yarn shop hop and visit all the pretty new architecture. I've been pretty excited to do this since before break, as I a) love Minneapolis and b) love hanging out with my mom. BUT driving anywhere with my mom is always an...adventure. Today was no exception.

Since we go through St. Paul anyway we decided to hit one of the fancy yarn shops in Maple Grove, the Yarnery. Damn this place is fancy. Every fiber imaginable, even buffalo! Buffalo! I know! Did you know bisson have really soft coats? I didn't untill today. (But guess how much 50 grams of buffalo yarn cost...$61! Yikes!) I am getting ahead of myself here. This place is a little out of the way and a lot of tricky to get to. My Mom, bless her soul, was having an off day, which means, because it was kinda humid out, her lungs were restricting the amount of oxygen that could get to her brain. Less oxygen to the brain means less brain function, less brain function means WE COULDN'T SEEM TO FIND GRAND AVENUE. Oh Mom. She babbled on about a shortcut someone had told her about after we missed the exit for the fifth time and had stopped to look at the map in a random creepy parking lot for the third time. I must give her credit though, had I been driving, I probably would've lost my shit and driven us into the Mississippi River. Finally, I turned on the navigation system and punched in the address. Huh, who knew the car could give you directions. Apparently, poor Darlene (what we named the voice lady on the GPS) had just been growing cobwebs all this time. I love Darlene for being completely unassuming and understanding. For always recalculating the route no matter how many times my Mom missed the turn had to circle around the block again. And again. My poor Mother felt so bad for wasting so much time fiddling around, trying to get to the silly Yarnery. Bless her.

So! To yarn! I had my first experience with Koigu. You know, the Premium Painter's Palette stuff. It's like cocaine for knitters. What I'm trying to say is that I went to worship at the alter of Koigu and I am converted. I got me some. It is beautiful. I cannot stop looking at it. Pictures to come. I also picked up a pattern for a pretty nifty Entrelac hat. Am I obsessed with that technique much? I think so. After the Yarnery, it was off to Depth of Field Yarn. While the Yarnery could be considered your luxury, hour long massage, chocolate cherry raspeberry creamy yum yum yarn shop, Depth of Field is your bread and butter, every day is my birthday, you are my soulmate yarn shop. They stock all the basics with a kick ass sale loft. Picked up 2 skeins Plymoth Sockotta and another set of size 1 needles. Bored yet?

Minneapolis has seen a bit of an architecture boom recently. Four new buildings have gone up, all designed by world-renowned architects. There's the Guthrie Theater designed by Jean Nouvel, the Walker Arts Center designed by Herzog and de Meuron, the Minneapolis Public Library designed by Cesar Pelli and the Minneapolis Institute of Art designed by Michael Graves. I was really looking forward to seeing any of these buildings. But because of all the time spent trying to get to Grand Ave, we only had time for the Walker. Nonetheless, it is awesome. I don't understand why traffic doesn't stop constanly on Hennepin, as driver's stare in awe at this feat of design. Such eye candy. I wanted to take pictures. Really I did. BUT MY FUCKING JAW WAS KILLING ME. Stupid me brought along no Advil. Stupid, stupid. It was dark too and the busy traffic scared me and there was no place to park and did I mention my jaw hurt? I'll be home again in three weeks and then we'll try to have a grand architecture tour.

I think that's enough for one day.

Day 27: I can see the end and it is beautiful

A long time ago I wrote an open letter to Rene Zellweger. In it I expressed certain issues that had been bothering me, namely her penchant for a tooth pick like physique. It is in that spirit that I present the second of my open letters - that to the lovely doctors of Seattle Grace Hospital.

Dear Doctors of Seattle Grace Hospital (ahem Grey's Anatomy),

You guys need Zoloft. I know Seattle is a dreary place and some people have that seasonal affective disorder, but seriously, cheer up. If I was to ever visit Seattle and get into a horrible freak accident and end up at your hospital I don't think I'd want any of you operating on me. Sorry, but its true. You see, I am of a school of thought that scalples and sexual tension do not mix, much like vinegar and vomit.

Even so I find myself captivated every week and would like to know why. I find you all incredibly whiney and yet I cannot stop watching. Your soap opera OR lives reminds me of ER back in the good days before Uncle Jesse (Seriously, wtf? He is a close second to people I don't want treating me in a medical emergency.) joined the cast and George Clooney was still rocking it, being a man-slut pediatrician. In fact, I think Dr. Ross left Chicago to go to Seattle. (!!!) I digress. Remember on ER, when it was Nurse Hathaway and Dr. Ross and will they or won't they and Dr. Carter will he ever get some loving. So I guess you all have that going you.

And Meredith Grey! Remember that time when you swore off the sex and decided to take up knitting? How goofy was that! I have to say that bothered me a little bit. You were doing it wrong. You don't knit a sweater that way. Na uh. Not that I have ever knit a sweater but I have seen one knitted in real life and it was kind of different from the way you knit it. But props to you for taking your knitting to a bar. That's how to rock it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that against my better judgment, I like you guys. Yeah I know. I want to barf too. Just send me somewhere else if I end up in your emergency room, ok?

Lots of Love,
Mary

Day 26: For reals!

Pain makes you do silly things, kids. For instance, yesterday I felt like I was a goat who got rejected by the other goats and swiftly kicked in the mouth. So I would have totally had an excuse to skip out on NaBloPoMo. But Mary doesn't quite stuff quite that easily. (Ok, sometimes I do. If it is a job bagging groceries or something.) Through the pain of wisdom teeth, I vowed to post on my blog. Now I see the light at the end of the tunnel and it is beautiful! Anyway, on to other topics. I have a delightful story for you, cica 1992. This time I took pictures!


Oh yes, here we go. I think this was the first book I "published." To properly introduce myself to my adoring readers, I needed to let everyone know all about me.

Um...the cover page. Early graphic design work going on here. I see some promise.

I get right to the point.

Age seven. Old enough to have experienced so much of the world. And what the hell am I? Some kind of triangle person with T-Rex arms and crazy hair? Self image obviously needed improvement.

I was pretty enamored with my cat. She was a mere kitten as of that writing and although I was afraid of her at first, I grew to love her dearly. Don't laugh at me about being afraid of kittens. That drawing is totally true to life too.

That's kind of weird. Thanks for sharing.

I guess I was hoping to find some people to share in my fetish. Sadly, no takers.

Again! I mention the age! The cat! The brother who denied my existence!

Oh man I will have to dig up some other gems for you before this whole NaBloPoMo thing is over. Sweet!

Day 26

I still feel like I got kicked in the teeth by a goat.

Whyfore?

Day 24: Blast from the Past

So remember when I wanted to post snippets from my old journals but hesitated to because of illegible handwriting and/or anger? I have a solution! I used to be a very prolific short story writer when I was 7 and 8. We had this thing called Writer's Workshop that was all about learning and applying the writing process. We were encouraged to write and illustrate our own stories, go through an editing process, then "publish" our own books and share them with our classmates. I wrote many a book. So I have a treat for you. As it is now officially the holiday season, I give you: Merry Christmas by Mary M. (Sadly, I wish I had a scanner so I could scan in and show you my fabulous illustrations. I fear a simple photograph would not do them justice. Also this entry is very last minute.)

Merry Christmas by Mary M.

I like to build snowmen. It is hard work to build.

I like to go caroling. Do you love caroling?

I like Christmas. Decorating the tree is fun.

It is fun to cut snowflakes. That is fun.

So, how do you like the way I celebrate Christmas?

About the Author: Mary is seven. She likes to draw. She likes to read.

Eh? Not exactly Pulitzer Prize winning but a start. I think two sentances was quite enough at age seven to describe my feelings for the Christmas season. Sadly, those feelings would experience a metamorphosis of sorts over the coming years. But that is a story for another day. I'm still in a lot of pain here, folks. I really hope I don't have an infection. That would suck ass and really mess up my life. I still have a good supply of Vicodin so hopefully, I 'll pull through. Tomorrow, pictures I hope.

Day 23

What I am Thankful For:
- Vicodin
- Food that is soft
- Wonderful family and friends
- Grey's Anatomy
- Vicodin (I'm really really thankful for it)

Pain in my jaw. Ow ow. Cuddling with an icepack seems to help. I want this to stop. It got real old real fast. It would be nice to open my mouth like normal again.

Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving and ate well and such. I'm too stoned to write more. I like Vicodin.